Uhm..i'll be better about this!!

Well..its a new year now lol 2/3/2012!!..So much has happened haha but i guess where i want to start is now!! Last year i kept saying this year would be my year!!..turns out to be true!!.. I'm not working as a dental assistant. I work at ancestry.com and am now also doing modeling!.. I decided that you have to live your life for you and not others so i have taken alot of time for myself to do things i want. I have started learning the guitar, working out and well modeling which has always been a dream. I am very happy with the people that surround me in my life. The value of family and firenship i have come to never even think about taking for granted and i hope i have been just as equally supportive in return. My family relationships have improved soo much..stefan will be injust 2 short months and im freaking excited! I've decided that i want to move to slc this year not sure when but i want to transfer to the U or SLCC for dental hygiene (The U for xray tech)..I feel very blessed to be where i am nd for the life that i have! So i thank god everyday! :) Stay tuned so much happening for me now!!

UPDATE!!!

Okay....so let play catch up!!!

I have been so busy the last month i have not even written down whats been going on..so 1. i finished school!!!! Graduated 2 days ago..before that i was placed in a postion on whether to stay here in utah or go home!! it was a very hard decision but it ended up being that i stayed in provo!!! I see home huge blessings coming from that choice. Lately i have come to a great understanding of family and friendship. I've have become very self-less towards my family and friends..life is too short to not do so!!! I'm preparing myself for my future family and the unconditional love that i will provide to them. I've been thinking alot about marriage and there are so many things that i need to do do prepare!!!..but that all comes with me on this journey of self discovery.

I have been losing myself in a lot of situations..some for the better and some not so much. I'm just greatful for the support the people around me give to me day in and day out..not to mention that i have the atonement and the opportunity to repent. This year alone has taught me much about the atonement and forgivenes..which forgiving has always been hard for me. These past months i have built relationships i would never change for the world..My brother ste'fan will return home in ruffly 6 months..he's awesome and has taught me a great deal even through out emails each week!!..Josh and i have still been communicating as we talk i become more inspired to be a better person and continue on my journey to find myself as he is! I've become more appreciative of the things i have that allow me to keep in contact with my family!! i havent always shown them the best love but that has changed! and i appreciate the love and forgiveness they have shown to me!!
So i'm just tryin to adjust to this life!!..I have not stopped praying for the help that i need to get where i need to be..and i know as i put christ first in my life!!..i can find the happiness im looking for and the destination i've been waiting for my whole life!!!..I'll keep ya posted on things as i go on!!

Troi

I hit my goal!!!

Okay..its been like a lil over a week since i have last written..The update is i have been in church for all meetings for the last 2 weeks..now..i know some people may say really???..but its a big thing for me!!! with my 2 month long break i've had from church..to consistent weeks make me happy to think of the progress i have been making!! Ultimately by goal is to keep progressing all the way up to my birthday..which marks a BIG DAY for my because thats when my most serious changes will begin to occur..i will be another year older and wiser!! Not to mention i will be done with my externship!!!!.. but i'm growing quite anxious to continue in becoming the person i really want to be!!! a friend of mine posted a video on her blog that i enjoyed and i got so much out of... i would be please if you guys watched it and got something out of it too!! :)

This video has set me straight..and i'll watch it so many more times to find the comfort and thoughts that i need!!!...until next time peeps!!!

The yo-yo!! Pslams 143:10

You guys..!!! I never said this journey was going to be easy. Frankly right now..i feel like a yo-yo!!! I have days where i feel amazing and things are great and others where i'm like..am i even moving forward like i want. to..OKAY...rome wasnt built in a day..and i have to admit looking back a year ago..to now..im doing pretty good..school under my belt...a stable job in the works..independent mind!!! so there has been some change...i just need to remain patient..stay focused and one thing at a time!! I need to figure out the next step people!!!..we already have it clear that i'm finishing my externship!!! What should i be doing while i finish?? I have alot of hobbies that i want to try but..money is the issue..i guess whats free is jesus!...Thats what i should work on now.. i wont lie im stuck right now between wanting what i deserve in life, and making the right choice of where to find it...HAPPINESS!!!..all i want!!...its funny how i know exactly what i should do..but i dont have enough strength or consistency to do it!!..does that mean i dont really want to be happy???...I'll keep praying..and i encourage others to keep me in their prayers as well!!!... after all whats a journey without change???


I often want to compare myslef and situations to others..thats a big no no no one is the very same!! and no situations can really be handled the same. i listen to others thoughts and opinions but really they drive me crazy  and then i dont really know what to think!! i have to be confident in my choices, thoughts and actions...i have to trust myself more often!!! believe i know whats best for me!! right??? I've been going crazy thinking about josh and what will happen in 2 years...with everyone talking in my ear it sometimes becomes too much and i black everything out literally!!!...its 2 years away..why am i stressing??! he was/is a huge part of my life and i guess the adjusment is more intense than i thought because on my journey right now i still think and base some decisions on him...how do i not do that??? its tough you guys..and its killing me~ all i can think to do is continue to do me..and do things that make me feel good..keep telling myself things will work out how they are supposed to be..GODS WILL!!!  goal for the week is to make it to church because i have been slacking..more than i would like..and its really not helping my life at all ( not going)..so.. i hope to write again and say that i went to church and i'm working on jesus lol I am strong, and even though things don't always go as I want them to, I know god has a plan for my life. God will get me through anything and everything <3
 10Teach me to do thy ^awill; for thou art my God: thy ^bspirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.-psalms 143:10

And the journey begins....

So its been a minute since i've written!! But today i finally have some free time...and well i created 2 other blogs!!! One for josh and one for stefan..whom are both serving their missions!! :)..but this blog is about me so i wanted to let everyone know that on this journey  even though i dont knew where im gong i know what i want!! I have goals and plans and as i acheive them you'll be hearing about them. I finally come to the point of understanding that if you want change it takes time, consistency and hard work!!!...I'm so proud of myself for working hard and getting my hours done for school. its amazing how working even when your not getting paid makes you feel like your worth something!! My days feel very accomplished! So my internship is something you'll be hearing about for a while. Another change that i have had is what i do for fun!! I've found myself in a happier place when i dont have a guilty conscience about what im up to!!! I have to say this week has been amazing and i thought i couldnt pin point why but the reason is..I'm doing things that are helping me be the person i want to be!! Im connecting all the dots of life!!!...NOW a current issue i'm still dealing with and working through is the separation of josh and i because of his mission!! I do still think about him ALOT..my problem is i listen to what everyone else has to say about us.. the negatives being it wont work out! ..NOW no one knows our relationship like me and him!! So listening to others is a bad idea because they truly are igonrant!! and yes i dont know the outcome but i know what i would like it to be!..While i wait to find out i'm just doing me!!! I'm making my life my way!...Being happy and free!..I feel as though my heavenly father has been looking out for me lately and has been hearing my prayers and cries to help me in the direction i want to go!! Needless to say I'm at the start of my journey!!! :) keep following..because its going to be a neat experience! :)

I was so Excited!

Okay ever since i created my blog last night i couldnt wait until onight to make a new post!! So lets get to it!...Today my day was pretty fun..a lil accomplished lol!..Last night i wasn't feeling good. Just feeling a lil down..but i woke up feeling good!!!!! Shayna and i visited the MMHM..Mormon Mexico History Museum we've been wanting to go and finally had the time to and to our SURPRISE...we  got there on its grand opening!..'the museum was amazing..Stefan would have appreciated it.(my brother on his mission in mexico). But..the food was even more amazing..hhaha, Mexican food is my favorite! It was the most amazing experience!!! Then after errands i ran some errands and went to lunch with shayna ( my roomate) at dairy queen. We started talking about how we dont need anyone..(a boy to make us happy) Its great to just do any and everything you want ........I love the independence that i've developed..I've never really had this!!.. I feel so free :)! I'm finally focused on myself and no one else!!! I have goals and plans for the next couple years! Thats why i created this blog..Because i'm going journey of self discovery!!! :) Who knows what will happen!!! Everything is at gods will!

1st Day!

Okay so i finally decided to make my own blog!!!!!!!!!!! I've been reading others blogs and i've actually been running one as well!! So where do i start??..i guess i need to introduce myself a little bit!!!..fill you in on whats been going on in my life so your not completely lost when i mention things!!! I currently live in provo, utah. I am doing an internship for dental assisting in which i have 300 hours to complete. I recently have become single on account of my BF left on his mission to brazil!! I have 4 brothers!!! and well i guess thats all you need to know for now!! :)

Signed

A girl on a journey!