You guys..!!! I never said this journey was going to be easy. Frankly right now..i feel like a yo-yo!!! I have days where i feel amazing and things are great and others where i'm like..am i even moving forward like i want. to..OKAY...rome wasnt built in a day..and i have to admit looking back a year ago..to now..im doing pretty good..school under my belt...a stable job in the works..independent mind!!! so there has been some change...i just need to remain patient..stay focused and one thing at a time!! I need to figure out the next step people!!!..we already have it clear that i'm finishing my externship!!! What should i be doing while i finish?? I have alot of hobbies that i want to try but..money is the issue..i guess whats free is jesus!...Thats what i should work on now.. i wont lie im stuck right now between wanting what i deserve in life, and making the right choice of where to find it...HAPPINESS!!!..all i want!!...its funny how i know exactly what i should do..but i dont have enough strength or consistency to do it!!..does that mean i dont really want to be happy???...I'll keep praying..and i encourage others to keep me in their prayers as well!!!... after all whats a journey without change???
I often want to compare myslef and situations to others..thats a big no no no one is the very same!! and no situations can really be handled the same. i listen to others thoughts and opinions but really they drive me crazy and then i dont really know what to think!! i have to be confident in my choices, thoughts and actions...i have to trust myself more often!!! believe i know whats best for me!! right??? I've been going crazy thinking about josh and what will happen in 2 years...with everyone talking in my ear it sometimes becomes too much and i black everything out literally!!!...its 2 years away..why am i stressing??! he was/is a huge part of my life and i guess the adjusment is more intense than i thought because on my journey right now i still think and base some decisions on him...how do i not do that??? its tough you guys..and its killing me~ all i can think to do is continue to do me..and do things that make me feel good..keep telling myself things will work out how they are supposed to be..GODS WILL!!! goal for the week is to make it to church because i have been slacking..more than i would like..and its really not helping my life at all ( not going)..so.. i hope to write again and say that i went to church and i'm working on jesus lol I am strong, and even though things don't always go as I want them to, I know god has a plan for my life. God will get me through anything and everything <3
10Teach me to do thy awill; for thou art my God: thy bspirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.-psalms 143:10
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